Hank and Wyatt's birth story

I can honestly tell you that I am horrible at updating this blog. You already knew that since you probably stopped checking it months ago. Well I have a few moments in the craziness of my life to fill you in on the twins and yes, I have pictures too. It has been just over 10 weeks ago that Hank and Wyatt FINALLY made their entrance into our family. We were anxiously waiting, and waiting, and waiting just like we usually do when I am pregnant. When we found out we were having twins at 35 weeks gestation I promptly called three of my friends and my cousins who have twins and tried to absorbs as much info as I could from them about what I should expect, how to breastfeed them, what extra items I needed to buy, and borrowed a few books which I read in one weeks time. I fully expected it would be any day from my ultra sound. Why I even thought they would come before their due date, I don't know, but I am very glad they waited despite the stretch marks they gave me. We were very glad they were full term, healthy, and BIG for twins. I was so worried I would have to have them in the hospital! Funny how people think I am crazy for not wanting to have them at a hospital cause most people would be scared to do it at home. Thankfully they were both head down and my midwife has had LOTS of experience delivering twins, even breached twins so I was not worried to continue with our plans to have them at home. It all started on the morning of my due date. I had decided I needed a morning to myself so I called my friend Teresa and dropped Jake and Wade off around 9am. On my way out the door Joe asked me when I was going to pick them up. I responded in a not so loving way(a sign that I was already going into labor). My plan was to use my breast pump to stimulate some contractions. I was determined to get these babies out on their due date! The day before I went to the chiropractor to get adjusted, with hopes that it would start labor. My doctor was amazed that I wanted him to be rough with me and not so sure he believed it would help. I began pumping for 20 min on, 40 min off for four hours. Every time I pumped I would have a contraction every 5 min so it was actually working! Around noon I called my friend and told her I would not be picking up the boys because I was pretty sure I would be in full blown labor by the late afternoon. Good thing I gave her the boys over night bag in hopes I wouldn't have to pick them up. Joe came home from work so we could prepare the birthing tub and get the birth kit ready for action! I continued to have small contractions so long as I was moving around doing something. I cleaned the bathroom and my midwife showed up at 4pm. She sent us outside to walk around to help my contractions continue since they slowed down if I was resting. We walked to our neighbors house, Josh and Denise Wisley, to drop off our dog and I had several hard contractions in just those few hundred feet of walking. An hour later the other midwives started to show up. I was told that because of having twins my midwife would have a few assistants with her to help out. I had no idea that there would be 6 midwives in my house at once! They were all so wonderful! I was able to labor in my room alone with Joe most of the time and they were so quiet in my living room I would not have known they were present. Hard labor started when my mom and sister arrived around 6pm. I was so glad they were able to witness the birth since I knew this would be my last pregnancy. At least we hope it will be our last! I keep telling Joe it's time for him to schedule a little surgery that will keep this body of mine from bearing any more children. My contractions picked up and became more intense an hour later and continued to stay the same for the next couple of hours. I was able to move around a lot. It was nice to have the birthing tub to climb into when I felt I needed a little break from collapsing on the floor to get through each contraction. My midwife would come in every hour to make sure I would go pee and then listen to the heart beat and left us to ourselves again. Around 10pm I became discouraged because I was still going and didn't feel close to pushing. I had two options. Go for a bumpy car ride or have my midwife check me to see how far dilated I was. Of course I opted for the second option and good thing cause I was fully dilated and we were just waiting for my water to break. I begged for her to break it so we could get this show on the road and have babies before midnight. You see. I was also really wanting all my babies to have birthdays that were in odd years, in odd months and on an odd day and so far I had the first two covered just needed to get them out before the 10th day of January rolled in. Within 10 min of my water being broken I was pushing Hank Levi out at 7lb 2 oz and with lots of hair all over his body! It felt great. Not the part of him coming out, but him being out of my body! I actually said a few bad words as I pushed him out. Thankfully my mom didn't hear those! I confessed anyway and she gave me that look that all mommy's give when you say words that are banned from your vocabulary. Love you mom! Well, after feeling like I was done I realized great; I have to do this all over again! We waited for over 20 min and nothing was happening! More frustration! I got out of the tub and tried squatting. 28 min after Hank came Wyatt James at 6lb! He was almost completely bald. Finally! What an amazing feeling it is to know it is all over. Or so i thought. You would think that delivering the placenta would be the easy part. It wasn't after Jake was born and it was happening all over again! My placenta would not come out. I pushed and pushed and just knew what was going to have to happen next. It was going to be my midwife who would go in and scrape it out. Let's just say that hurt more than two babies being pushed out of my body. After that I have lost twice the amount of blood and feeling very faint. Joe carried me to my tub and I literally lay there trying not to pass out. They put smelling salt under my nose and carried me to bed so I could get warm and they hand fed me toast with peanut butter and made me drink tons of orange juice to help me get my energy back. I guess I was pretty pale in the face. Soon I had my color back and was nursing two babies at once! I don't think I slept more than an hour that night. My after pains were pretty intense every time I nursed and I was also given 5 cc's of an antibiotic just to keep me from infection since it took a while for the placenta to come out. The pain of that shot was the worst! I can still feel the knock in my hip from it! Everyone was probably out of the house around 1am. Of course I was ready to pass out from exhaustion but I think I only slept a whole hour that first night from the pain of the shot and from my uterus contracting. It was a long night and I was so relieved when 7am rolled around. I hate laying in bed when I can't sleep and I knew I would soon be able to take a good long nap when my mom woke up. I am so thankful for my wonderful mother who stayed with me for over a week! My youngest sister Kim also stayed for about 5 days to help out as well! They were both so wonderful keeping Jake and Wade occupied and allowing me rest, cooking meals and organizing any and everything they could find to do to help me out! When my mom left to go home she took Jake and Wade with her so I could adjust to the babies and get them on a schedule. I cried when my mom hugged me goodbye, not knowing how I would manage two babies and how I would do without Jake and Wade around. I missed them terribly! The house was SO quiet and it stayed so CLEAN too! I had to close their bedroom door because every time I walked by and saw their stuff I would cry. It was 11 days before my mom brought them home. Joe and I were both so happy to have them back. My mom stayed with us for another week! She is just the best! So glad she has the time to come help! Over the course of the first 6 weeks we had a lot of other helpers. My sister-in-law Janice came with her mother and two kids Kate and Luke for about 3 days. The kids were great with the babies and helped keep Jake and Wade busy. Joe's mom came for a few days and it was nice to ask her a bunch of questions about how she raised Joe and Josh 33 years ago. Oh the resources these days compared to 30 years ago! I am so glad I have a mother-in-law who went through it and she didn't have near the help I have had! You are one great woman Judi! Don't know how you did it?! Our next pair of helping hands was Joe's Step Mom Shari. His dad Jerry also came too. I could tell that every time Jerry would hold the twins it would take him right back to what life was like when his twins were little. One more person who has been a huge help ever since Jake was born. Teresa Graber and her husband Allen and daughter Abbie! They are known to Jake and Wade as Mamaw T and Papaw Allen. Teresa has come over several times a week to help out and we often drop our children off at their house so we can run errands or go out for dinner. Thanks for all the breaks you have given us over the years! Thanks to all who came to stay with us! I hope I am not leaving anyone out! It has been a crazy journey but I have gotten used to the chaos. I consider it a blessing to have four boys and know each day will have it's challenges but so long as I take one day at a time I can get through it. I still have a large list of people that want to help us out. Here are a few pictures of our new family!

Where's my hope coming from?

I couldn't fall asleep last night due to the election results. I tried to go to bed before I found out who won the election. I had been close to drifting off a few times but Wade kept waking me up crying from his stuffy nose. I had that sick feeling in my gut all night that I was going to wake up and hear what I did not want to hear. It's no secret. I voted Mitt Romney. I just can't agree with anything Obama stands for. Who care's whether he is black or white. I just don't agree with the direction he wants to take the country. After getting a little bit of sleep I woke up feeling a little anxious about the next 4 years. Knowing that I need not be anxious about anything I knew that if I opened up my devotions for the day I would find comforting words, so I did and found just what I thought I would find, comforting words. This comes from my daily devo's "Jesus Calling" Love this book! "Worship me in the beauty of holiness. All true beauty reflects some of who I am. I am working My ways in you: the divine Artist creating loveliness within your being. My main work is to clear debris and clutter, making room for MY Spirit to take full possession. Collaborate with Me in this effort by being willing to let go of anything i choose to take away. I know what you need, and I have promised to provide all of that abundantly! Your sense of security must not rest in your possessions or in things going your way. I am training you to depend on Me alone, finding fulfillment in My Presence. This entails being satisfied with much or with little, accepting either as My will for the moment. Instead of grasping and controlling, you are learning to release and receive. Cultivate this receptive stance by trusting Me in every situation." So I didn't have it go my way and I worry what could happen to our economy/what we possess as individuals and in our freedoms that could be taken away, but God wants me to depend on him in every situation. Even if Mitt Romney had won I still can't put my trust in man alone. This may bring our country into a place where we all learn to depend on God way more than we ever have before and that would be a very positive thing.

Applesauce and Pumpkin Pancakes

These are actually good and very healthy. Very little sugar and no white flour! You don't even need eggs! I use one in my batter but I like it that way! 2 cups of Whole Wheat Flour 1 cup of milk 1 cup of applesauce 1/2 cup of pumpkin puree (optional) 2 tablespoons of honey 1/2 teaspoon of salt 1 teaspoon of cinnamon 6 teaspoons of baking powder 1 egg Mix it all together. Dry stuff first and then add it to the wet stuff. I usually have to add a little more milk to make the batter more wet. Heat up the skillet and pour over your favorite maple syrup!

4 o'clock

I see I have had 40 views of my last post! Wow! If I knew people were reading then I would probably post more often. Comments people? If I know you are there it might motivate me to keep updating. Okay so this next post might come off sounding a little negative but it is something I feel can be true for a lot of people, not just moms and since I have nothing else to write about this is what you get for today! You know that time of day. The time you wish never came each day. The time you have to force yourself not to keep looking at the clock wondering when it will be here and when it will be gone. It is currently that time for me and it shouldn't be that hard for me to get through, but by this time of the day I feel like all the energy and life has been sucked out of me. I could play ANOTHER game of hide and go seek, or read "that" book for the 10th time today, or go for another walk outside but I just don't want too. This is the mundane life of the stay at home mom. I know that sounds bad but I would probably say the same thing if I was a working mom. I stay busy at home doing things that moms do. Some days are great and we have lots to do. Some days I just wish I had a fenced in backyard and could have the boys play outside where they can take their fights, their noises, their whining where I can't hear it. For someone with very little patience I actually handle these daily battles better than I thought I would. I try not to yell. I try not to show how annoyed I can be when one of the boys has to whine about every little thing. These daily battles always seem to multiply by 10 at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I still have 4 hours until I can put them in bed and have a few hours a peace and quiet. I'm tired, I am board(I hate saying that), but I really am. I try to get creative and find fun things to fill our time but those things get old to me too. Maybe not as much for the boys but for me, my ability to "play" has run dry. late into the afternoon. I often wonder what other stay at home moms do all day? I'm sure it is different in every home. I just can't be my children's only source of entertainment for the whole day. I want them to know how to play on their own for a few hours at a time and they can on most days, but there is always some sort of fight or one of them hurts the other and I have to go in and kiss the wounded and separate them. TV can be a nice option at times but not one that I want to use very often at all. In fact, the less the better. Having somewhat of a daily routine has helped, but don't most routines get to be soooooo mundane you have to break it up with something different. Knowing whats about to come up all the time can become so dull and I don't want the boys to grow up thinking they will always know what to expect all the time. I guess it can just be somewhat hard to mix it up during the week. We go to the library on most Mondays. That usually lasts about 10 min after they have tried to pull every book off the shelf. We go to the park on nice days. We walk around the camp almost everyday. We watch a show after nap time. We build forts. We play out in the yard. We even sometimes take a bath just to play in the water. I would love to have more play dates with other moms who are at home. It helps me connect with another adult and gives my kids a break from me as well as a break from being somewhere other than home. I miss my friend Andi who lived at the camp. She and her husband moved a few months ago to pursue a calling from God and headed to Dallas to study a year at Pioneer Bible Translators. It was so easy for Andi and me to get together often because we lived a couple hundred yards away from each other. Our houses were usually messy but we didn't care. We just understood each other and what life is like for a mom. Sometimes we would just drop by unannounced and see what the other person is up too. I loved that! I loved knowing that when I came over, even if she was in the middle of something, she would drop it to visit for a few minutes and I was usually not up to anything so important I couldn't drop something for her. (miss you Andi) I still need to get out more by myself or with friends which I am pretty bad at planning. Realistically that isn't as easy as it might be for some. I don't have very many people who can just take the boys whenever. Joe is more busy these days working at the camp and at the church and once he is home at night I don't necessarily want to be away from him when I haven't seen him all day. It is all a balancing act. How to take time for me so I don't become a crazy lady and how to balance my time with the boys, doing chores, time with Joe, time with God and time with friends. I can't be a mom without sacrificing a lot of time, a lot of energy, a lot of peace and quiet, a lot of money, and a lot of time doing other things that I love. It is part of being a parent where I need to find joy. I didn't understand much about sacrifice before becoming a parent. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and didn't have to think much about anyone but myself and Joe. I don't wish away the smallness of my children at all. I find them to be precious, funny, daring, risky, curious, playful, unpredictable, adventurous and most of all the two beings in my life besides God and Joe that loves me most no matter how unattractive I may look on the inside and out. Kids bring out the crazy in me but they also bring me to my knees more than ever before. They force you to grow and want to be a better person. They give you a sense of how not be too boring, or too clean, or too quiet, or too dense. They have a way of making life something you never expected it to be. The only thing that is to be expected is this hour of the day. 4 o'clock. Make it or break it. I guess it is up to me.

Since my last Post...

Boy oh boy! I don't know how I can give you an accurate update of all I have been up to since my last post in May but I will try and try to make it interesting too. I keep thinking about blogging about different things but sometimes blogging to sucks too much of my time. I would rather be outside reading a good book, or getting some housework done, or baking healthy snacks on most days. But here I am back into the world of blogging. I love to read my friends blog so I guess I am just doing it because of how much I enjoy keeping up with my friends who blog. Well summer is over and fall is amazing! I love summer, but this one really got to me with all those over 95 degree days. I did not want to be outside unless we were at the camp pool. We found out we were pregnant in April and since then I have felt like my pregnancies just get more and more uncomfortable than the last. I'm just guessing it's because the more kids you have the more your back hurts from all the extra work and the more tired it makes you having more than one to care for. I think this one is going to be our last baby. We talked about only having two but two just didn't seem as complete to me and I had been praying that if God wanted us to have another that he would just make it happen. I get more and more excited about it the closer we get to due month. I haven't been giving a due date since both my boys were around 21 days late. We also won't be finding out the gender of the baby so you will just have to wait! This summer I was asked to join the steering team for my MOPS group and I happily agreed to help out. Phew! It is a lot of work planning for an entire year but I am on a great team, a small team, but we know how to get things done and I hope the registered Moms have been enjoying their every other Fridays with us. We have already had some fantastic speakers and we had a lot of new faces this year which is always nice. I know this time has been so valuable to me over the past couple of years just coming to MOPS so I am hoping we can be a blessing to them and give them some much needed down and as much encouragement and support that we can during motherhood. Onto my wonderful hard working husband...He has been an amazing person in my life this year! We hit our 10 year anniversary this August and I feel closer and closer to him the longer we are married. I love our time spent together of an evening and our conversations we have about anything and everything. I just love spending time with him talking about life. The last 6 weeks he has signed on at the church as the youth interim until either next Spring or until the church finds a new full time youth guy. He loves kids and was already pretty involved in teaching S.S. and Bible Study on Wed nights so now he just spends a little more time planning events and organizing volunteers or people to teach etc. It takes a little time away from the camp but at this time of the year things slow down enough that it doesn't effect camp work in a negative way. If anything it will actually benefit the camp because of the relationships we are building at the church. Jake and Wade are a riot! They love playing with each other and fighting over toys. I go a little bonkers by the end of the day but what mom doesn't? I love having boys except for the dirty side of them. I think I change their clothes a couple of times a day from playing in dirt and puddles and sand but love how easy it is for them to have fun. They each have a tonka dump truck that they will push around the house or at camp all day long! Wade has been talking more and more of course. Some of his words come out even better than his brother such as the word "yellow." That one is pretty hard for Jake to say. Every morning when I get Wade out of bed he grabs his diaper and says "ewwww" and he has been standing in front of the toilet and tries to pee. I don't know if he will be potty trained before he is two or not but Jake was so I am praying I get lucky again and can encourage that to happen! What have I been up too... Gardening, canning, painting the house, reorganizing the house, reading a lot of books, praying more, working on examining my heart, thinking about home schooling, singing with my kids, trying to play more and be silly more. This year has been an interesting year for me. I can't lay it all out in one paragraph but I love how being more aware of God's presence in my life as given me the desire to see what he desires for my family. Jake has been asking so many questions about Jesus and God and heaven. I love having those chances to answer his questions and see how his heart is molded as he grows. I have begun to see that my most important goal is to make disciples of my children. Of course I can't save them, but I can give them a picture of how great our God is and that he is a child a God, created by God, and loved by God. Lots of times I think about all the things I want to teach my kids or that Joe wants to teach them. They are all great things but more important than their education and how to shoot a gun we hope that we can make faith our number one goal before anything else because nothing else can save them. I think it's time for me to get my laundry folded so maybe in the near future I will start another post for you, hopefully with some pictures of the kids and our nearly finished housing projects. Blessings!

Live In Summer Staff

Camp is almost here! Always an exciting time around Rainbow Christian Camp. Summer staff arrives this coming Sunday to move in. The one difference this year is that we will have 3 of them living here in our little home with us for 3 months. Jake and Wade will be moved into a room together and the 3 male summer staff will stay in the back bedroom where Jake usually sleeps. Why you ask? Well. We are trying something different this year when it comes to the summer staffs dormitory. Usually they would all stay either in the ARK or the CAVE. Guys on one side and girls on the other. However this year we are trying to create an atmosphere where we can do a better job building a community and discipleship. The 9 males on staff will be split up between us, and two other full time staff houses. All the girls will be staying in the ARK. If you have never been here before and have no idea what these places look like I apologize. You need to come and visit us so we can give you a tour! Other exciting stuff happening around here this week. Our bedroom addition has been added. Now all we have left is the finish work and painting. Today my father-in-law is here helping Joe pull the siding off our house, along with the windows so we will finally have energy efficient windows and new siding! No more tyvek siding on our garage! Geesh! We don't even own this house and it has been one project after another the last couple of years. Which reminds me of our new deck Joe built two weeks ago on the back of the house. Thankfully we aren't in the process of building a new house. Been there, done that, don't want to do it again! All these projects have been on our must do list for a while so it is nice to see it all come together! Can't wait to see the end result of a lot of hard work. Mostly from my husband of course. Building things is not really my trademark!

2 plus 1 = ?

I had been praying a lot that God would just make it happen. I didn't want to have to say whether I was ready or not. I will almost never be ready for change so God made it happen which means this January we are going to add a 3rd precious baby to our family. I am thrilled to say I will be apart of a family of 5. I loved having just the 4 of us, but to me 5 is more of a party. I look forward to all the same things I did with the boys, but the one thing that always stand out to me most is that I will always be needed by them. I love to know that even as grown children or adults that my kids are mine for life. I will always be there for them and they will always be there for me. Okay so now let me answer all those questions that are typically asked once this kind of announcement is made. When am I due? Since Jake and Wade were both 3 weeks past their due date I refuse to set a due date. It will be sometime in January. It could even happen in early February. I simple cannot say for sure! Was this a surprise? YES. I was planning to go on a mission trip to Africa this December and wasn't planning to get pregnant until after that trip. So I guess God is putting a hold on me getting to love on little orphans in Africa for another 2 years. Do we want a boy or a girl? Hoping for a girl this time around! How am I feeling? Very very tired! All I can think about during the day is how much more I could get done if I didn't feel like I was on a sleeping pill all day long. I have been feeling a little sick to my stomach in the mornings the last couple of days but other than that, I feel pretty good! How far apart will Wade and this one be? around 21 months apart. CLOSE ENOUGH FOR ME! God's timing is more perfect than mine is what I have to tell myself all the time. I know I will be tired, but nothing is more perfect than holding your own little baby in your arms and thank God for giving them to you!