Scrambled Part Two

My weekend turned out pretty great considering that I only slept for an hour on Friday night. Sunday night was wonderful! My little boy decided to go 11 hours before getting up to eat! That was a great Valentine's Day present from him.  I hope he keeps this up!
I brought up my thoughts about living a life God calls us to live to my wonderful husband Joe on Saturday night. I love talking to him about where I am in my walk with Christ and all the questions I have about the Bible. I respect his thoughts and he always has a lot of good advice and is able to help me sort through my scrambled thoughts.  We both ended up feeling like we really wanted to pursue this mystery of what it looks like for us to live a Holy life in our day in age.
The following lyrics are a song called Help Me Believe by Nicole Nordeman. I love her lyrics and this song describes a lot of what I am feeling at this point in my spiritual walk.

Take me back to the time
When I was maybe eight or nine
And I believed
when Jesus walked on waters blue
and If he helped me I could to
If I believed
Before rational analysis and systematic thinking
Robbed me of a sweet simplicity
When wonders and when mysteries
Were far less often silly dreams
and Childhood fantasies
CHORUS:
Help me believe
'cause I don't want to miss any miracles
Maybe i'd see
Much better by closing my eyes
and I would shed this grown up skin I'm in
To touch an Angels wing
And I would be free
Help me believe
When mustard seeds made mountians move
A burning bush that spoke for you
was good enough
when manna fell from heavens high
Just because you told the sky to open up
Am I to wise to recognize that everything uncertain
is certainly a possibility
When logic fails my reasoning
and science crushes underneath
The weight of all that is unseen
CHORUS
When someone elses education
plays upon my reservation
I'm the first to cave
I'm the first to bleed
If I abandoned all that seeks
To make my faith informed and chic
Could you?
would you?
show your self to me? 

It's almost like the world I live in has desensitized itself to what it means to live with Christ. Our focus is all wrong. We live for ourselves and no one else. We don't rely on God anymore because we don't need him.  Well, we really do need God, it just seems to be easy to forget that we need him in modern day, especially with all the money this country has!  It seems to be that the less we have the more we rely on God. It brought me to think of as many people I know that I admire and look up too for the way they live their life and who I would go to for advice.  I could only think of 2, maybe 3 people who I truly look up too.  Wow! Then I began to think about me and the kind of person I want to be know as after I die.  
"oh Melissa was a nice person"
"Melissa was a good mom and wife"
Boy would that be depressing or what!  I sure hope I can start to figure out what this holy way of living is supposed to look like for my life. What do I need to get rid of in my life that distracts me from God. Probably TV for a start. I am addicted to so many shows.  Food is another one of those distractions. Maybe I should fast?  You wouldn't think food could distract you from God but why does the Bible talk so much about fasting if it's not an important spiritual discipline. We sure have plenty food in this country. Not very many starving people around here, and yet people are dying across the world from starvation and we continue to waste our money away on sports, movies, electronics, cars, big houses(gotta keep up with the Jones').  I could go on but I don't need to because you could name a few in your own minds. Why are those things such a necessity? They aren't coming with us when we die!  I know it is important to have a reliable and safe car when you have a family, and such, but I can't think of very many things that I couldn't live without.
So I am still seeking answers to what a holy life looks like. It's not about how often I read my Bible, or pray, or go to church. It's a good thing God is the only one that knows my heart. No one can judge me, and if they do, it isn't going to make a difference as to whether I go to heaven or not.  I just hope that I can grow and mature into the woman of integrity that God intended for me to be, that's all.  I only want to God to find favor with me like he did with those in the bible.  God still performs miracles. He heals, protects, provides, and comforts. We just may not see it as much because we aren't looking or don't believe he will.
Mark 9:23 Everything is possible for him who believes."
"I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!"

Scrambled Thoughts

So it is currently 4:39am and I can't seem to sleep. We watched the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics until 11pm and decided we had been bored for long enough and it was time to go to bed. I feed Jake one last time and headed to bed, hopefully until 6am when Jake would wake up to eat.  I am not sure why I am awake right now feeling like I could run a mini marathon. It could be the fact that I drank two cups of cafinated coffee around 9pm and sugared up on birthday cake and ice cream for Joe's mom's birthday dinner. Or it could be the Lord trying to get my attention about something. So, at my failed attempt to try fall asleep for the past 5 hours I gave up and spent sometime praying and asking him to speak.  Maybe I shouldn't be on the computer after asking him that, but sometimes it just helps me relax when I can write out everything that goes on in my mind when I feel restless.  Right before I got out of bed feeling defeated by my inability to fall asleep, the verses that talk about Jesus staying up all night to pray popped into my head so I thought I should just get up and go with it. My prayer life has always seemed to be one of the hardest spiritual disciplines for me to perfect. I have always felt like a prayer failure instead of a prayer warrior. This year one of my goals was to read the Bible through twice this year.  Here is a thought that some of you may have thought of before that I have never thought of so tell me what you think.  Of all the stories in the Bible about people who followed God in the Old and New Testament, God appeared, in some form or another, to them and told them what to do when, where, how, and not necessarily why.  If they did what they were asked to do by God they were fully blessed by him and so were their descendants. If they didn't do what God asked they were destroyed, well at least before Christ died on the cross(Pause: I am really struggling with how to explain my thoughts so bare with me. Hence the title of this blog cause I might be all over the place). If you follow Christ, think about the way you live as a follower today.  Go ahead, take a moment and think, how do you follow Christ compared to the way people did in the Bible.  I am not trying to make you feel guilty or less of a person at all or try to tell you how righteous of a person I am, cause I am far from where I want to be. I am just really beginning to search my heart and where I am in my walk with Christ. It has been really easy for me to say that I follow Christ, go to church, tithe, and a "GOOD" person. Is that all I have to do to be a Christ follower?  I'm sure it isn't and that is why I am looking at the way I live my life and compare it to all the prophets, apostles, and leadersGod appeared to in the Bible.  Now those guys, and girls had a real relationship with Christ. The other day during one of my daily Bible readings I paused to think about how cool it had to have been for all those that God had appeared to or heard God speak too and work through.  Take Moses for example.  He was a nobody until God showed up to him in a bush and told him he was going to use him to save the Israelites. Woa God! You want to use a nobody to lead thousand of people out of the land of slavery? Crazy! What did Moses do? He led them out after God showed the big bad Egyptians that God wasn't going to let them win. Sure they had to wander through the desert for 40 years before they arrived at the land flowing with milk and honey but all the ways God provided for them along the way and not to mention the ways he protected them from harm is just so cool to me. Those that decided they weren't going to listen to God were killed by the people that followed God because God told them to finish them.  How neat for those people to get to see the pillar of fire and smoke lead them through the desert! Or how about walking on the floor of the Red Sea with two huge walls of water on either side of you?  So many other stories like that and here I am reading them thinking about how cool it would be if being a follower today was like it was in the Bible.  Then I thought, "well why can't it be?" How silly of me to think that God isn't, won't, can't work in us today like he did then. Maybe he doesn't because we won't let him, or don't believe that he can, or will use us like he used Abraham, Joseph, Noah, Esther, Paul and all his disciples etc.(Hold that thought. Need to go feed Jake. Back in a moment)  This Holy and Righteous life that men and women in the Bible were called to follow must have been pretty stinking important to God and is still just as important to him today. Now I know there were just as many wicked people in the world then as there are today, but how often to you hear stories in this present time that were similar to stories you read from the Bible.  For me, it isn't very often that I physically see God's hand at work. Sure I can tell you of some cool things that has happened in my life that I am 100% certain it was God's hand at work, but it just doesn't compare to what I am reading.  The questions I have started to ask myself in the last few weeks is, "how do I measure up to the men and women of faith in the Bible?"  What does living a righteous and holy life actually look like? God asks us to seek him and we will know him. What does it mean to seek him? What does true faith feel like?  I feel the church today has lost it's touch with the way God has called us to live.  What was it about people in the Bible that made God speak out loud too, or randomly appear too? I know I would pee my pants if God showed up out of no where in my living room! Maybe I am thinking too much? Or maybe I am asking the right questions for me and only me? Am I the only one who feels this way, or asks these questions? Another thing I noticed in the OT was the long number of years that people lived back then. Was it because they were stronger in their faith and God wanted them to stick around longer so he could use them to help people?  Sounds like a dumb question after I read it, but I have always been told that no question is a dumb one.
Well it is now 6:10am and I think I have done all the thinking I can handle right now.  thanks for listening and letting me spill my thoughts on you.  Now for me to try and sleep a little before Jake wakes up for the day!  I am predicting my Saturday isn't going to be as relaxing as I want it to be.  Especially since we have a nephew's birthday party to attend today.  Oh boy!  Happy weekend readers and Happy Valentines Day!

First time cold for Baby Jake

Well the last two days in the Wisley house has been fun... NOT! Jake somehow picked up a cold, I think. Unless he is teething, which I am pretty sure he isn't since he sounds so congested and has been sleeping like it is his job!  I will admit it kind of hurts my pride that he got sick since I pride myself on how healthy our house has been for the past two years.  It figures that the one to get sick would be the one person in my house that doesn't understand why he feels like crap and I can't tell him why I have to keep using the bogger sucker on his nose and wipe his runny nose every two minutes.  Thankfully I think he is feeling better today. Yet another reason why to hate winter! Nasty colds attacking out of nowhere!
I have been debating on when to start Jake on solids and with the help of some good friends decided that I will continue to stick with only breastmilk until he is more interested in eating solids. He is still growing and seems completely satisfied. To be honest I am not ready to start solids since breastfeeding is so much easier! I used to think that I would look forward to seeing breastfeeding coming to a end, but now that we got the hang of it I feel it comes natural to me now. It also helps that Jake eats A LOT  faster now too. The first two months it took 45 min to feed him and now it only take 15-20 minutes. 
Jake will be 5 months old on Saturday.  He has changed so much the last two weeks. He giggles and laughs a lot more now and we are even working on sitting up too. We also set up the Johnny Jump Up for him last week. I was surprised to see him in it this early. I figured it would be another 2 months before he would be ready to play in it.

I am still faithful to my no-shampoo experiment.  It has been 4 weeks since I washed my hair with shampoo. I got a haitcut last week and that helped tremendously with the dry dead ends.  I think I picked a good time to experiment since I don't get out much this time of the year. I have been going about 6-8 days before I use one part baking soda to 4 parts water to wash my hair.  It looks and feels pretty close to how it felt when I was using shampoo and conditioner.

We are a month away from our vacation to Florida! We will be spending 10 days along the Gulf and then 7 days in Puerto Rico. Joe is speaking at a school that our friend works with so that trip is labeld more of a work trip for him. I am just going along to hang out with Lindsay, Craigs' wife, who also works at the school.  The only places I have visted besides other U.S states is Mexico and Canada where I lived for four years.

Well, that is about all I can share about my boring old life for now. I am so looking forward to April! The first 3 months of the year are always a drag for me. Thankfully we will be in wamer places for 3 out of 4 weeks in March!

Dirty Hair Update!

I am amazed at my hair right now! I haven't washed it in a week and today I decided it was time to wash it, but not with Shampoo, I used baking soda! It felt so weird as I poured the paste all over my head and scrubbed my scalp with it. After I rinsed my hair actually felt like I had just put conditioner in it and I also used the soda to scrub my face. It was a great exfoliator! The big test was what my hair looked and felt like after I dried it. I normally let it air dry but today I used a blow dryer because I was too impatient to wait and let's be honest, blow drying your hair just seems to make your hair look better in my opinion. So here are some pics of my new hair. So fresh and so clean and without the chemicals!

My pathetic sexy pose.

Oh so shiny! I love it. Now all I need is a good hair cut and it will look even healthier!

Need Help Moms!

OK! So I posted this on my facebook status as well and I have already gotten a few responses but I am up for more advice when it comes to helping me figure out how to transition Jake into an early bedtime routine. Jake is 4 months old so think back to when your kids were that age! He is a great sleeper when he is sleeping and I don't have to rock or nurse him to sleep. He goes down being swaddled and with a pacifier wide awake and falls asleep on his own.  No loud toys or bright lights are in his room when I put him down. He is in a dark room with a fan on low.
So far here is his whole routine throughout the day.
7am - Wake up and eat
7:30a-9:45a - Back to bed
9:45 - 11:15a - Eat time, play time for 1-1.5 hours
11:15- 12:45p - Nap for about 1.5-2 hours 
12:45-2p - Eat, play
2-3:30 or 4p - nap (1.5-2 hours)
3:30 - 4:30 or 5p - Eat/play
5p-6or 6:30pm - Nap
6:30 - 8p - Eat/Play
8p - try to put down for bed and he will fall asleep
9p- wakes up not acting tired or hungry so we get him up and wait until he acts hungry, feed him, and put him back to bed. He usually will sleep for another hour or little longer and wake up again and by 10:30-11pm will be out for the rest of the night.
I don't know if you see the pattern there.  He is asleep for 1.5-2 hours and awake for about the same amount of time. His wake time is usually shorter then his sleep time because he always shows signs of being tired at right about an hour of being awake. I then will change him, swaddle him and put him down without but more then a kiss on the forehead and he is out within 5-10 mins.
I feel like I need to shorten his morning nap and then he can have a longer afternoon nap, and a third, but short late afternoon nap and then try to get him down for the night around 8-9pm. 
What do you all think and what did you do with your 4-5 month olds?

Dirty Hair: cause I'm a hippy like that!

Well! Well!  Has it really been over two weeks since my last post?  The days pass by so quickly and yet, I complain about being bored. I must not be if time flies by like it has. We have been keeping busy.  Jake sure helps the days go by quickly but I find that after a couple of days with nothing planned my cabin fever creeps up on me and attacks viciously without warning. Even a trip to the grocery store keeps me sane. For some reason getting out of the house for an hour works to keep cabin fever symptoms to a minimum. 
To catch you up.  Last week I decided a couple of things. I decided I am not going to wash my hair for a while, or maybe never again.  "Why," you ask?  I knew you would ask.  Well, I have decided that I am not happy with my hair and that could partly be from having well water which dries it out even though we have a softener.  Two years ago I switched from washing my hair everyday to only every 3 days and that was helping.  Now, I just want to experiment with the no-poo hair and see what happens. I googled it and found several people that support the idea and have been poo-free, some for 6 months,  and others 12 months or longer. I also have a friend who tried it for a few weeks but broke down and used shampoo.  She says that there is a transition point that your hair goes through to get used to not being chemically stripped of it's natural oils.  So far it has been a week and it's not that bad... yet!  My hair obviously feels different.  Not dirty, but certainly not fresh.  Joe says that I'm a hippy!  Oh well, I did have my baby at home! So be it! I am a hippy in more ways then one. I will keep you updated on the process. Here is a link if you are curious: http://1greengeneration.elementsintime.com/?p=365
The second thing I decided was to learn to knit. The same friend that didn't wash her hair for a few weeks knits and she has inspired me to start. She loaned me a set of needles, a book and gave me some cheap yarn to start with.  I haven't started yet. It is kind of hard to get it going with all the stay-at-home mommy things I do during the day.  I also tend to procrastinate when it comes to learning something new.  Don't know why, but I do.  I hope I learn quickly because I know I will give it up if I don't and I would love to be able to make things other than scarves and pot holders.
Well I am out of words to write. It is late, the baby is fed, I have watched Idol and The Bachelor and it's time for bed.  Hope you all are having a great day and not stuck inside like me.  Call me if you want to hang out!

Looking back and moving on

I have never been a New Year resolutions kind of person so don't expect me to write a list of goals for this new year. I think goals are important, but for me, the need to change a part of my life shouldn't wait until the start of a new year, it should start right away. I understand it makes it so much easier to wait until the New Year. Maybe just because it is easier to keep track of how I'm doing with the goals I set for myself. The only thing that I have decided to start this Jan 1st 2010 is to read the Bible twice thru. I have already read it once thru a couple of times in a year so I need a new challenge. Joe and I have set a financial goal for ourselves, but who doesn't. We all want to get a better hold on our money and not be stupid with it like we have been for the last 7 years of our marriage. We finally feel that we are going to be faithful to a budget which is exciting! We have never been in a lot of debt, but what little debt we are in we would like to get out of sooner than later.

Looking back on 2009 I would say that we lived a good one. We spent our first full year at Rainbow Christian Camp and we love being here. Of course the best part about 2009 was bringing Jake Owen into our lives! Other then that it was just another year for me. I don't feel like I accomplished a whole lot last year, but I am happy and content with where God has put us and I'm looking forward to another year.

One thing I would like to work on for this year would be to find ways to do more then just live and exist. Last year I didn't live outside of myself or comfort zone very much at all. I would like to find different ways to make more of a difference in this world then just go about my life being home most of the time watching TV or cleaning the house. I know that Jake is growing up quickly and learning a lot from the way Joe and I live our lives, so I want to do my best at teaching him that there are more important things in life than keeping his room clean. I hope that he can learn to love helping others and understand the importance of being generous as well as building others up. I feel our world is full of too much sarcasism and needs more affirmation. Sarcasism can be funny, but hurtful at the same time and makes people forget how to give a compliment so I hope Jake blesses others with his words.

I am excited to live out a different year and hope to follow the dreams God gives me.