The picture to the left is of some wonderful women from Beford IN. Most of them are sister-in-laws, mother-in-laws, and neices and one nephew. The others are from Joe's home church, Popcorn Christian Church. We drove down to Bedford a baby shower given by these wonderful ladies. We had a great time eating and opening gifts. I received a lot of great items that I can't wait to use.
I've been getting restless during the past week. I often walk into the baby's room and pace around wondering if I am missing anything, or if there is something I can do to get my mind off what labor is going to be like. It has been hard not having much to do since I am prepared for this home birth. I got my birthing kit in the mail at the beginning of last week and bought the list of things my midwife wanted to me have at the house.
I often spend most of my time thinking about being relaxed and releasing any stress that I may be feeling in the present. My goal during the past month has been to focus on all the positives, to feel strong and confident, so that when the time comes I know the labor I experience is going to be normal and the pain is only temporary.
During my last appointment with my midwife she asked if there was anything I feared. My only fears are the point at which my contractions are so close together and the pain so intense that I will not be able to focus on using the relaxation techniques I have been practicing over the past two months. I have no fears of pushing what so ever. She said she is very curious to know how I will handle labor versus the way I handled hiking up and down mountains for 6 months. She seems to think that it won't be much different. Hiking up mountains all day long was no easy task but I don't think it wil compare to having a baby. So far hiking for 6 months is the hardest thing I have ever done but I'm guessing that will change once I experience delivering a baby.
As far as my feelings about being a mom I am indifferent. Two weeks ago I would have told you that I was not excited about being a mom at all. The last 7 years with Joe have been amazing and it is hard for me to picture our life being interupted with a new member of the family. Joe and I love the time that we get to spend together. We have spent a lot of time talking about how we will juggle time together and time with our kids. We understand the importance of nurturing our childrens' needs but also see the importance of nurturing our marriage. We both feel that in order for us to have a better than stable, crazy in love and meeting each others needs marriage, it will require us to make "Joe and Mel Time" a big priority. I want my kids to grow up seeing Joe and I madly in love with each other to be a good model of a healthy marriage. I don't want my kids to feel our stress because we put our marriage on the back burner. When kids see that their parents are in love with each other that gives them a confident and secure feeling in themselves and the life that they live in.
Being a mom is such a big idea for me to wrap my arms around and understand at this point. However, I know God gave me all of the abilities I will need to be the mom that he intended me to be.
Good for you Mel! I totally agree with your ideas about being a strong couple first. I try very hard to keep my marriage number one even though society pushes children to be number one. I feel that this is what God intended and the children will appreciate this growing up. Make sure you start early with making couple time a priority. Leaving the baby may be hard, but you and especially your husband will appreciate the time away! And the baby won't even know you're gone!! :)
ReplyDeleteHey Stubbs! Reading this makes me SO excited for you two! You're both wonderful people with your hearts, heads, and faith in the right place. Every journey has its challenges... but think of all the memories and rewards =)
ReplyDeleteIt's a rainy day in Glacier National Park. Bones and Low are in Alaska, probably around Denali. I got to really missing the AT last night.
I guess sometimes we have to figure out how to find joy and freedom no matter what our living situation is. I'm starting a full time job at an outfitter in Missoula MT September first... super excited about that. Once I find a home you 2... 4 including baby and dog... are welcome to visit =) ~Bound
I know it's easy to say, but you will be great parents. I understand your thoughts about the need to maintain 'Joe & Mel' time. Evan and I have been married 5 1/2 years now, and I know what a huge change it would be to have a child in that mix. I would miss it just being the two of, but I am sure you will love this kid just as much as you love each other! hope i get to see you all sometime soon.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to read this post Mel. :) I think you are absolutely right about needing to keep your marriage strong above anything else. obviously I'm no expert on anything regarding marriage, but from a kid's perspective, nothing would have made me happier growing up than knowing and being able to see how much my parents loved each other and how committed they were to each other. unfortunately, that is something that I rarely saw in my parents relationship and it caused a lot of heartache and grief for me. so no matter what anyone else tells you, or how cute baby wisley is(and she's gonna be pretty freaking attractive, let me tell ya) your relationship with Joe should be number two right after your relationship with God(obviously).
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