Where's my hope coming from?

I couldn't fall asleep last night due to the election results. I tried to go to bed before I found out who won the election. I had been close to drifting off a few times but Wade kept waking me up crying from his stuffy nose. I had that sick feeling in my gut all night that I was going to wake up and hear what I did not want to hear. It's no secret. I voted Mitt Romney. I just can't agree with anything Obama stands for. Who care's whether he is black or white. I just don't agree with the direction he wants to take the country. After getting a little bit of sleep I woke up feeling a little anxious about the next 4 years. Knowing that I need not be anxious about anything I knew that if I opened up my devotions for the day I would find comforting words, so I did and found just what I thought I would find, comforting words. This comes from my daily devo's "Jesus Calling" Love this book! "Worship me in the beauty of holiness. All true beauty reflects some of who I am. I am working My ways in you: the divine Artist creating loveliness within your being. My main work is to clear debris and clutter, making room for MY Spirit to take full possession. Collaborate with Me in this effort by being willing to let go of anything i choose to take away. I know what you need, and I have promised to provide all of that abundantly! Your sense of security must not rest in your possessions or in things going your way. I am training you to depend on Me alone, finding fulfillment in My Presence. This entails being satisfied with much or with little, accepting either as My will for the moment. Instead of grasping and controlling, you are learning to release and receive. Cultivate this receptive stance by trusting Me in every situation." So I didn't have it go my way and I worry what could happen to our economy/what we possess as individuals and in our freedoms that could be taken away, but God wants me to depend on him in every situation. Even if Mitt Romney had won I still can't put my trust in man alone. This may bring our country into a place where we all learn to depend on God way more than we ever have before and that would be a very positive thing.

Applesauce and Pumpkin Pancakes

These are actually good and very healthy. Very little sugar and no white flour! You don't even need eggs! I use one in my batter but I like it that way! 2 cups of Whole Wheat Flour 1 cup of milk 1 cup of applesauce 1/2 cup of pumpkin puree (optional) 2 tablespoons of honey 1/2 teaspoon of salt 1 teaspoon of cinnamon 6 teaspoons of baking powder 1 egg Mix it all together. Dry stuff first and then add it to the wet stuff. I usually have to add a little more milk to make the batter more wet. Heat up the skillet and pour over your favorite maple syrup!

4 o'clock

I see I have had 40 views of my last post! Wow! If I knew people were reading then I would probably post more often. Comments people? If I know you are there it might motivate me to keep updating. Okay so this next post might come off sounding a little negative but it is something I feel can be true for a lot of people, not just moms and since I have nothing else to write about this is what you get for today! You know that time of day. The time you wish never came each day. The time you have to force yourself not to keep looking at the clock wondering when it will be here and when it will be gone. It is currently that time for me and it shouldn't be that hard for me to get through, but by this time of the day I feel like all the energy and life has been sucked out of me. I could play ANOTHER game of hide and go seek, or read "that" book for the 10th time today, or go for another walk outside but I just don't want too. This is the mundane life of the stay at home mom. I know that sounds bad but I would probably say the same thing if I was a working mom. I stay busy at home doing things that moms do. Some days are great and we have lots to do. Some days I just wish I had a fenced in backyard and could have the boys play outside where they can take their fights, their noises, their whining where I can't hear it. For someone with very little patience I actually handle these daily battles better than I thought I would. I try not to yell. I try not to show how annoyed I can be when one of the boys has to whine about every little thing. These daily battles always seem to multiply by 10 at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I still have 4 hours until I can put them in bed and have a few hours a peace and quiet. I'm tired, I am board(I hate saying that), but I really am. I try to get creative and find fun things to fill our time but those things get old to me too. Maybe not as much for the boys but for me, my ability to "play" has run dry. late into the afternoon. I often wonder what other stay at home moms do all day? I'm sure it is different in every home. I just can't be my children's only source of entertainment for the whole day. I want them to know how to play on their own for a few hours at a time and they can on most days, but there is always some sort of fight or one of them hurts the other and I have to go in and kiss the wounded and separate them. TV can be a nice option at times but not one that I want to use very often at all. In fact, the less the better. Having somewhat of a daily routine has helped, but don't most routines get to be soooooo mundane you have to break it up with something different. Knowing whats about to come up all the time can become so dull and I don't want the boys to grow up thinking they will always know what to expect all the time. I guess it can just be somewhat hard to mix it up during the week. We go to the library on most Mondays. That usually lasts about 10 min after they have tried to pull every book off the shelf. We go to the park on nice days. We walk around the camp almost everyday. We watch a show after nap time. We build forts. We play out in the yard. We even sometimes take a bath just to play in the water. I would love to have more play dates with other moms who are at home. It helps me connect with another adult and gives my kids a break from me as well as a break from being somewhere other than home. I miss my friend Andi who lived at the camp. She and her husband moved a few months ago to pursue a calling from God and headed to Dallas to study a year at Pioneer Bible Translators. It was so easy for Andi and me to get together often because we lived a couple hundred yards away from each other. Our houses were usually messy but we didn't care. We just understood each other and what life is like for a mom. Sometimes we would just drop by unannounced and see what the other person is up too. I loved that! I loved knowing that when I came over, even if she was in the middle of something, she would drop it to visit for a few minutes and I was usually not up to anything so important I couldn't drop something for her. (miss you Andi) I still need to get out more by myself or with friends which I am pretty bad at planning. Realistically that isn't as easy as it might be for some. I don't have very many people who can just take the boys whenever. Joe is more busy these days working at the camp and at the church and once he is home at night I don't necessarily want to be away from him when I haven't seen him all day. It is all a balancing act. How to take time for me so I don't become a crazy lady and how to balance my time with the boys, doing chores, time with Joe, time with God and time with friends. I can't be a mom without sacrificing a lot of time, a lot of energy, a lot of peace and quiet, a lot of money, and a lot of time doing other things that I love. It is part of being a parent where I need to find joy. I didn't understand much about sacrifice before becoming a parent. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and didn't have to think much about anyone but myself and Joe. I don't wish away the smallness of my children at all. I find them to be precious, funny, daring, risky, curious, playful, unpredictable, adventurous and most of all the two beings in my life besides God and Joe that loves me most no matter how unattractive I may look on the inside and out. Kids bring out the crazy in me but they also bring me to my knees more than ever before. They force you to grow and want to be a better person. They give you a sense of how not be too boring, or too clean, or too quiet, or too dense. They have a way of making life something you never expected it to be. The only thing that is to be expected is this hour of the day. 4 o'clock. Make it or break it. I guess it is up to me.

Since my last Post...

Boy oh boy! I don't know how I can give you an accurate update of all I have been up to since my last post in May but I will try and try to make it interesting too. I keep thinking about blogging about different things but sometimes blogging to sucks too much of my time. I would rather be outside reading a good book, or getting some housework done, or baking healthy snacks on most days. But here I am back into the world of blogging. I love to read my friends blog so I guess I am just doing it because of how much I enjoy keeping up with my friends who blog. Well summer is over and fall is amazing! I love summer, but this one really got to me with all those over 95 degree days. I did not want to be outside unless we were at the camp pool. We found out we were pregnant in April and since then I have felt like my pregnancies just get more and more uncomfortable than the last. I'm just guessing it's because the more kids you have the more your back hurts from all the extra work and the more tired it makes you having more than one to care for. I think this one is going to be our last baby. We talked about only having two but two just didn't seem as complete to me and I had been praying that if God wanted us to have another that he would just make it happen. I get more and more excited about it the closer we get to due month. I haven't been giving a due date since both my boys were around 21 days late. We also won't be finding out the gender of the baby so you will just have to wait! This summer I was asked to join the steering team for my MOPS group and I happily agreed to help out. Phew! It is a lot of work planning for an entire year but I am on a great team, a small team, but we know how to get things done and I hope the registered Moms have been enjoying their every other Fridays with us. We have already had some fantastic speakers and we had a lot of new faces this year which is always nice. I know this time has been so valuable to me over the past couple of years just coming to MOPS so I am hoping we can be a blessing to them and give them some much needed down and as much encouragement and support that we can during motherhood. Onto my wonderful hard working husband...He has been an amazing person in my life this year! We hit our 10 year anniversary this August and I feel closer and closer to him the longer we are married. I love our time spent together of an evening and our conversations we have about anything and everything. I just love spending time with him talking about life. The last 6 weeks he has signed on at the church as the youth interim until either next Spring or until the church finds a new full time youth guy. He loves kids and was already pretty involved in teaching S.S. and Bible Study on Wed nights so now he just spends a little more time planning events and organizing volunteers or people to teach etc. It takes a little time away from the camp but at this time of the year things slow down enough that it doesn't effect camp work in a negative way. If anything it will actually benefit the camp because of the relationships we are building at the church. Jake and Wade are a riot! They love playing with each other and fighting over toys. I go a little bonkers by the end of the day but what mom doesn't? I love having boys except for the dirty side of them. I think I change their clothes a couple of times a day from playing in dirt and puddles and sand but love how easy it is for them to have fun. They each have a tonka dump truck that they will push around the house or at camp all day long! Wade has been talking more and more of course. Some of his words come out even better than his brother such as the word "yellow." That one is pretty hard for Jake to say. Every morning when I get Wade out of bed he grabs his diaper and says "ewwww" and he has been standing in front of the toilet and tries to pee. I don't know if he will be potty trained before he is two or not but Jake was so I am praying I get lucky again and can encourage that to happen! What have I been up too... Gardening, canning, painting the house, reorganizing the house, reading a lot of books, praying more, working on examining my heart, thinking about home schooling, singing with my kids, trying to play more and be silly more. This year has been an interesting year for me. I can't lay it all out in one paragraph but I love how being more aware of God's presence in my life as given me the desire to see what he desires for my family. Jake has been asking so many questions about Jesus and God and heaven. I love having those chances to answer his questions and see how his heart is molded as he grows. I have begun to see that my most important goal is to make disciples of my children. Of course I can't save them, but I can give them a picture of how great our God is and that he is a child a God, created by God, and loved by God. Lots of times I think about all the things I want to teach my kids or that Joe wants to teach them. They are all great things but more important than their education and how to shoot a gun we hope that we can make faith our number one goal before anything else because nothing else can save them. I think it's time for me to get my laundry folded so maybe in the near future I will start another post for you, hopefully with some pictures of the kids and our nearly finished housing projects. Blessings!

Live In Summer Staff

Camp is almost here! Always an exciting time around Rainbow Christian Camp. Summer staff arrives this coming Sunday to move in. The one difference this year is that we will have 3 of them living here in our little home with us for 3 months. Jake and Wade will be moved into a room together and the 3 male summer staff will stay in the back bedroom where Jake usually sleeps. Why you ask? Well. We are trying something different this year when it comes to the summer staffs dormitory. Usually they would all stay either in the ARK or the CAVE. Guys on one side and girls on the other. However this year we are trying to create an atmosphere where we can do a better job building a community and discipleship. The 9 males on staff will be split up between us, and two other full time staff houses. All the girls will be staying in the ARK. If you have never been here before and have no idea what these places look like I apologize. You need to come and visit us so we can give you a tour! Other exciting stuff happening around here this week. Our bedroom addition has been added. Now all we have left is the finish work and painting. Today my father-in-law is here helping Joe pull the siding off our house, along with the windows so we will finally have energy efficient windows and new siding! No more tyvek siding on our garage! Geesh! We don't even own this house and it has been one project after another the last couple of years. Which reminds me of our new deck Joe built two weeks ago on the back of the house. Thankfully we aren't in the process of building a new house. Been there, done that, don't want to do it again! All these projects have been on our must do list for a while so it is nice to see it all come together! Can't wait to see the end result of a lot of hard work. Mostly from my husband of course. Building things is not really my trademark!

2 plus 1 = ?

I had been praying a lot that God would just make it happen. I didn't want to have to say whether I was ready or not. I will almost never be ready for change so God made it happen which means this January we are going to add a 3rd precious baby to our family. I am thrilled to say I will be apart of a family of 5. I loved having just the 4 of us, but to me 5 is more of a party. I look forward to all the same things I did with the boys, but the one thing that always stand out to me most is that I will always be needed by them. I love to know that even as grown children or adults that my kids are mine for life. I will always be there for them and they will always be there for me. Okay so now let me answer all those questions that are typically asked once this kind of announcement is made. When am I due? Since Jake and Wade were both 3 weeks past their due date I refuse to set a due date. It will be sometime in January. It could even happen in early February. I simple cannot say for sure! Was this a surprise? YES. I was planning to go on a mission trip to Africa this December and wasn't planning to get pregnant until after that trip. So I guess God is putting a hold on me getting to love on little orphans in Africa for another 2 years. Do we want a boy or a girl? Hoping for a girl this time around! How am I feeling? Very very tired! All I can think about during the day is how much more I could get done if I didn't feel like I was on a sleeping pill all day long. I have been feeling a little sick to my stomach in the mornings the last couple of days but other than that, I feel pretty good! How far apart will Wade and this one be? around 21 months apart. CLOSE ENOUGH FOR ME! God's timing is more perfect than mine is what I have to tell myself all the time. I know I will be tired, but nothing is more perfect than holding your own little baby in your arms and thank God for giving them to you!

If you are stubborn like me, change doesn't always come easy. I'm learning to embracing change in my life and see God work on my heart in the many ways I am changing. I don't know where that will take me but I trust God to use me in the ways I never thought were possible. I'm scared to say that sometimes because I know the moment I am willing to let God use me that could put me in situations I am not comfortable with. I hesitate to even mess with writing a blog about this because my thoughts can be so messy in writing but I felt good about it today and wanted to share my heart and what God is teaching me.

I'm learning that I don't care as much about luxuries like I used too. Ever since my 6 month hike on the Appalachian Trail I don't worry as much about wearing make-up(I still wear it but not as much and not as often), taking a shower everyday(don't worry, I do at least once a week.....Just kidding!), getting my nails done, having lots of jewelry, having highlights, buying new clothes, having a perfectly clean house, shaving(yes I still shave, but if a week goes by and I have hairy legs I am not bothered by it), eating out, cable, cell phones...I don't have a data plan and really hope I don't ever have too have one. These are just a few of the luxuries I am realizing aren't that important to me. I still enjoy them, but they have becomes things I am okay with living without excess of them.

I am learning more and more that I need to do more than just support a few missionaries and supporting a compassion child from Columbia. Something inside me just doesn't want to accept that it is enough for me to just hand out money and not get my hands dirty. I am not sure how to go beyond just giving money at this point, but God is a God of perfect timing and maybe he is preparing me for something and it isn't time yet.

I'm beginning to understand what matters most in life. It's not the condition of my house, my car, my education, how much money is in the savings or retirement funds, arguing over different opinions in relation to politics, parenting, and belief systems; or my social status. What matters is how I live my life according to the way Christ commands me to live on a daily basis.
How I serve others.
How I love others.
Am I pleasing God, or trying to please others? I don't want to miss the opportunities, big and small, God places in my life to love, serve, counsel, or to just be available to listen. Over the last couple of years I've been learning something so vitally important to the way I relate to others how I think. I am a first born which means I am a perfectionist at heart. I strive for perfection while setting high expectations in myself and others as well. This has made it difficult for me in my relationships and you know what. I was wrong. Very very wrong. I don't know what caused me to change exactly but I'm glad it happened because I notice how it has helped me become more grateful, less critical, and strive for excellence rather than perfection. To be perfect means to be flawless. Thankfully I now know I can't be flawless and therefore I am less stressed out, more laid back, more forgiving, and less uptight and I love the flow of life, yes, even when my ducks are not all in a row! Where does this leave me? It means I practice sharing and giving more. Loving and serving more. Praying and dying to myself more and working on making myself more available to the needs of others. My heart breaks for hungry and lonely children so maybe God will give me an opportunity where I am able to change the life of a dying child. I really don't know, but I am at peace knowing God already has a plan. All I need to be is available and willing.

Jake sayings

I just love the things kids say! Here are a few of my favorites from the past few days.
Jake: mom, I want some more candy please.
Me: not right not jake.
Jake: Why mommy?
Me: because too much candy can make you sick.
Jake: I want to be sick mommy!
Me: Laughing out loud!

This one was today while I was making him lunch

Jake: Mommy I love peanut butter and jelly and bread. It makes me sooooo happy!

Little Waders

Our little man turns 1 today! Just like that and my baby ends his first year of life and steps into toddler hood. Hardly seems right for the innocence of the baby stage to be so short and before I know it he will be testing and challenging me like his big brother is. I have thoroughly enjoyed Wade's first year! Though stubborn, he is overall a happy, enjoyable little guy. Reminds me everyday of why children are a blessing from the Lord and how lucky I am to be his mommy. These younger years go by so fast and I am so glad that I got to be around for each of his firsts.
First smile
First bath(surely that came before his first smile)
First time rolling over
First time sitting up
First laugh
First steps
First time he kissed me(kind of hard to not be around for that one but I was the first one he kissed)
First word
I have cherished each of these moments and as hard as it is to let go of the fact that he won't be this little for much longer I love watching him learn, discover, laugh, play, and get excited over the simple things in life. I am very grateful to my little ones for the way that they have changed me and given me opportunities to grow and learn from them.
Love you Wade Robert Wisley!

Tornados and Florida Fun

A week in the sun always recharges my soul when I have been stuck in central Indiana's long and boring winter. We drove down to Naple's Florida with my sister Kim and her husband Ben. Our departure time was Noon on Friday the 2nd. This was the same day of all the crazy tornado's ravaged the states of Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia(probably several others too). We knew we were taking a huge risk but really wanted to get on the road so we could start our vacation on the beach. My parents were already there waiting for us so away we went to face what almost turned out to be the death of us.
The weather turned bad in Southern Indiana. We were on highway 65 and it began to hail pea sized hail balls. Joe called his stepmom to ask about checking the weather where we were driving through but they had not had any satellite at the moment. Out of no where their satellite returned and she was able to tell us that the tornado was about to cross over the same highway we were on. We pulled off onto the shoulder and waited for the hail to pass us by. After 5 minutes of what sounded like marbles being shot at our van we pressed onward. No more than half a mile we saw it...the biggest funnel cloud I could have imagined just to the east of 65! It was so wide it almost didn't seem real, but we knew it had to have been real and that we missed it by less than a mile. Another half mile of driving and we realized that if we had not pulled off to the shoulder we would have most definitely been thrown by the same tornado we watched pass us by! So sad to see the damaged it caused and we were so thankful for God's protection from it for us! I have a video of the damage we saw so if I can figure out how to post it I will do so in a separate post for you.
We made it safe and sound after 22 hours of being in the car. The boys did pretty well sleeping all night in the car. Wade was a gem and we had no issues with him. jake had a few difficult hours but was able to get 9ish hours of sleep. I was so proud of them both for their cooperation for being strapped in their seats for so long. We only had to make a total a 5 stops and 4 of those were no more than 10 min stops. In order to keep Jake busy in the car I had gathered and bought and borrow a bunch of stuff and put them all in a black bag and called it my "treasure bag." Whenever Jake was getting bored or whiny I would pull something out of the bag for him. These items were things that he had never played with before so he was very excited to discover his new treasures.
Here is my list just in case you are curious so you can plan for your next rode trip with your kids.
Magnadoodle
Monkey's in a Barrel
Pipe Cleaners
Colorful Cotton Balls
Coloring activities(washables Stacy Cook!) Or even better use Color Wonder Markers
Window Stickers
Light up Toys for night driving
Small Melissa and Doug Puzzles
Stickers with a sticker book
I borrow magnetic Leap Frog Letters and brought a cookie sheet for him to play with in his lap. I think the cookie sheet idea is my favorite because you can do so much more with it. I also brought a few others magnetic toys that I borrow from a friend that he loved and I didn't have to worry about toys sliding of constantly. I also plan to make my own magnetic puzzles for our next trip or to just keep in the car for anytime we are in the car for an hour or more.
We also have a DVD player in our car which was a lifesaver. We brought around 12 movies for him to pick from.
Our trip home was a little more difficult because we started out driving around 7pm and drove all night and didn't get home until 2pm the next day. I think I prefer to start out mid-day, drive all night and know that by the time the boys wake up we will be at our destination. Poor Wade also had a high fever and runny diapers so he didn't sleep much through the night which means I didn't get to sleep more than about an hour either.
All in all a week on the beach was worth the 40 hours of driving and much cheaper than flying if you think you have enough patience to manage being in a car with your kids that long.
We stayed in a rental home with a private pool and hot tub for 6 days with my parents and sister and brother-in-law. Lots of walks on the beach, swimming in the pool, laying in the sun and went looking for alligators in the wild with Joe and Jake. That part was probably Jake's favorite part.
Enjoy the pictures!

AND I'm Back!

I sometimes don't know why I blog, and then when I don't blog I wondered why I don't blog. I think for me it is just the lack of time and maybe I feel my life just isn't interesting enough to keep updating it weekly. So I will go on Blogging once every couple of months. It has been 2 months since my last update.
Jake is his usual rambunctious 2 year old self. Sometimes I look at him and think he is 3, but really only because the kid is wearing 3T clothes and isn't even 2.5 yet. He gets it from daddy. There is no way my short self produced tall hefty children. We finally got him into a twin bed a few days after Christmas. He was climbing out of his crib a lot so we knew it was time for him. It wasn't hard convincing him to sleep in his new bed. We dressed it up with tractor sheets and his new Moose Pillow pet. Jake has been an excellent sleeper for us since he was 6 months. He rarely wakes up in the middle of the night unless he is sick. Our only struggle with him are mornings and the early hour he wakes up. Bed time has always been about 7:30 or at the latest 8pm for him. He has been waking up at 5:45 or 6am for the last couple of weeks. The first week he would run into our room and feel around for me waking me up out of a dead sleep. One morning I remember feeling little hot hands all over my face. I had no idea what was going on so I began flailing my arms around as if to try to swat away a swarm of bugs. I have been walking him back to his bed and telling him not to get up until we come and get him. I also put a clock in his room and have been showing him what 7:00 looks like so he has a time he is allowed to get out of his bed. I don't mind getting up at 6am, but not to start my day because Jake gets me out of bed. I would love to get up at 6am and read, journal, pray for an hour before I start my day. It always better prepares me for my very busy days with two busy boys during these long, cold winter months. Yesterday morning I woke up hearing a milk thudding noise. I found Jake in his bathroom playing in a sink filled to the top with bubbles. He had dumped an entire bottle of a travel sized baby shampoo bottle in the sink and ran the water for who knows how long. That was at 5:50am. He said he was brushing his teeth! I hoped it wasn't with the soap!
January and February are rough months for me. Winter is just too long and being stuck inside our tiny house all day long makes us all a little bonkers. Last winter Jake and I went out nearly everyday for a walk even when it was 20 degrees. This year I have only been out a handful of times if it is below 40. Having a 9 month who can't crawl around on the wet, cold and muddy or snowy ground makes it hard. I have a hiking carrier I can carry him with but he is pretty heavy after 30 min. Jake has been good about playing outside with Max by himself. He either stays in the backyard or in the garage. He loves the snow! I enjoy watching him run around with Max laughing when Max chases him and knocks him into the snow.
Jake has discovered the movie CARS and is in love! We got him Mator and Lightening cars for Christmas and Grandma Shari got him the movie. He asks me everyday to watch Lightening. When I say "No, not today" he usually responds by saying, "my love Lightening." I love the sentences that come out of his mouth! I understand most everything he says and if I don't have a clue Jake usually tries to say it a different way. One time he was trying to say the name of an animal and I was clueless! He knew I didn't know what he was saying so he started making the sound the animals makes to help me out! I was impressed at how he thought to do that.
Short update on Wade. He started taking his first steps the day he turned 9 months! I try not to encourage my babies to grow up too fast but I do love it when they start walking early! He has been practicing for 2 weeks today and as of 2 days ago he walks more than he crawls now. It is so funny to watch because he is still so little to me. He has great balance, just like his mommy.
I haven't moved Wade into Jake's room yet. With Jake waking up at 6am I don't want Wade being woken up when he usually sleep until 7-7:30am. I would love to have them together now but want to give Jake a little time to learn that he isn't supposed to get up before 7am. It wouldn't surprise me if I found Jake in Wade's crib waking up his brother so he had someone to play with.
Well boring update but I feel better now that I have at least written something. I wish i had pictures. Our camera stopped holding a battery charge so I have no new pictures to post until we get a new camera.