Things I wish I were better at, or knew how to do it.

There are some things that I really struggle with and thought it might make for a interesting blog. (I'm trying to work my way out of the boring blogger category)!

I like making lists because they really reduce stress for me. I always have a list of some sort. Grocery lists, To Do Lists, Wish Lists...etc. As good as I am with making lists I am not the greatest at completing them. I may have a to do list but won't get it done until weeks later, or have a grocery list but forget to bring it with me, therefore resulting in a couple of trips to the store rather than one.

I like to stay organized and keep a clean house. Keeping the house clean isn't that hard for me. I just do my best to stay on top of laundry one day per week and make sure the kitchen is cleaned every night before bed. Vacuuming and sweeping is a must every other day because of how anal I am about dirty floors and when you have a dog your floors can really never be considered clean enough. Organizing is one thing I would like to be better at. I find myself re-organizing things frequently, which isn't always a bad thing but it certainly uses up a lot of time I could spend learning something new. My biggest disaster is trying to keep all my documents and random papers organizied rather than left on my counter tops. I really hate clutter! I would be perfectly happy if the only things I my counters were my kitchen aid mixer, coffee maker and cutting board. Clean counters look so nice! I know how to organize, I am just too lazy to get it done. Which brings me to another thing I am horrible at.
I am a procrastinator! Especially with things like studying, preparing for a class, getting a project done, making phone calls, trying to learn something new, getting my lists done, reading a book(unless it is so good I can't put it down). I don't know why I procrastinate because I like to see things get done and it stresses me out when I put it off. Why would I want to add more stress to life when I have plenty of time to do it? Strange isn't it?
I would also like to be a better host. I like to be hospitable, but I feel like I suck at it. I am a horrible planner. Most stuff happens at the last minute and since I don't prepare myself for last minute events I don't want to be hospitable because I have nothing to offer anyone. Mostly food that is. I never seem to have the right foods stocked away for last minute opportunities for me to have people over. I really like making people feel welcome so this is the one thing I am really working on improving becsuse relationships are more important than getting a stupid list done.
I am also horrible with relationships. I love people! I know it doesn't always seem that I do because I am mostly an introvert but being married to an extrovert can change you a little when he wants to be around people all the time. I recharge when I have alone time. Joe recharges when he hangs out with people. This is a good thing. I want to have people in my life but because I tend to hide in my cave sometimes I feel a little intimidated to come out and socialize. I really have to force myself to come out of my shell. I am typically a very open person and know how to have a conversation, but there is something about relationships that causes me to freeze up. I have always wanted to have that one friend that I feel I can share just about anything with, who I can pray with, call when I am hurting, have similar interests and share the same beliefs about different things. Sounds almost impossible right? Like I have made up this perfect girlfriend that doesn't really exist and I keep searching for her. I have great friends. I have imperfect friends and I myself and imperfect so why am I looking for that perfect relationship? Maybe it is because of all the movies I watch and we all know that most movies are a fantasy. Kind of like watching a sex scene in a movie. Not that I have a habit of doing so, but I will not lie and say that I haven't seen a sex scene. Sex is always protrayed as this mind blowing, going to have an orgasm multiple times per night, always incredible, never disappointing... you get my drift, unless you are a virgin of course(please stay a virgin until you are married). Sex is great, but not always like the movies make it look. Same with a lot of things.
Wow, that one was a long one. I might like some feedback on that one if you have something profound to say or are in the same boat as me. Bottom line, if you are my friend and consider me a good friend I consider you a great friend too. I don't know how else to put it. I don't want those who are my friends to feel like you have disappointed me. I think I just disappoint myself in how I preceive my relationships. I don't get the girl bonding time that I so desire I guess is all I am saying.
I would like to be better at giving people compliments. Joes' main love language is words of affirmation. I might think he is amazing, and hot, and my hero, but it means nothing when i keep those thoughts to myself. I need to do a better job at telling him how great I think he is. I want to give other people compliments too. I want people to feel good about themselves, to know that I approve of them and love them, and think they are beautiful!
I wonder if other introverts struggle with the same things that I do. I bet they do, but sometimes I feel like I just suck and everyone else is great! I say this as a way to poke fun at myself. Not having a pity party, or seeking out a self-esteem boost. I am a pretty secure person, just wondering.
The last thing I can think of that could use some improvement is planning parties. Sometimes I think parties are dumb. I like to get together with people, but planning birthday parties is such a drag for me. I would rather someone else plan the party and tell me what to bring rather than doing the planning myself. I lack creativity. I just recently threw a small party for Jake. I planned dinner, and made a tractor cake. Invited a few people and asked them not to bring gifts. No decorations, just a simple dinner with cake. Boring right?! Hopefully I will get better at this as the kids get older but at the same time I don't want them to expect every birthday to be this big production with tons of decorations. Growing up we had small family parties and sometimes invited a few close friends. My mom would let us pick our meals for the day. Mine was usually some sort of sugary cereal or swedish pancakes. Lunch was usually something like mac and cheese, and dinner was usually BBQ Chicken with white rice. I loved rice and still do! Yum! We were able to pick out what kind of cake we wanted and got a present or two. Rarely would we let our guest buy us presents. I remember being annoyed at my mom for telling people not to bring presents, but now here I am doing the same thing!
Wow. I am bad at a lot of stuff. Maybe I should start a another list and this list will be stuff I am good at cause now I feel like a loser! Ha ha ha ha! Not Really. Just being open and honest about myself.